A Long Weekend

with sun and pool opening and a NEW BICYCLE. Yes, I'm out of practice. It has been a long time since I went everywhere on a bike. And I'm quite ungainly with a bad knee to boot. Be that as it may, I've been a few yards every day. Well maybe more than a few yards, but not many.

Oh, and I lost a few pounds. I've lost 7 since I started Weight Watchers four weeks ago, 12 since I decided to get serious about getting healthier and feeling better. It's interesting that I can feel 5 or 10 pounds lost. Why didn't I feel 5 or 10 pounds gained? Because I really didn't notice? More likely I was ignoring all of those signals, how my body felt. You can't get to be 100+ pounds overweight if you're noticing how lousy it feels all the time.

Interestingly enough, I've thought a lot about how I feel. It's difficult to do so becausse I feel so narcissistic. On the other hand I've paid enough attention to the needs of others over the years. I'm due a little narcissism. Back to the point. I think I felt the best in my life when I was 11. I was strong and free and smart and puberty hadn't messed all that up yet. I wandered about, walked and rode my bike and swam miles just because it felt good. I realized that I've totally lost that feeling. I want it back. Even when I'm not so comfortable with what I have to do to get there.

Hence the bike. That looks like this:

(That one isn't mine, although it is the same brand and color. That one belongs to and was uploaded to Flickr by Melly Bee. Mine has a removable basket. It will have panniers when I find some I love.

Yo, Something New

I started going to Weight Watchers two weeks ago. I hate the meetings but I figured it was time to switch up, to try something new. As you can see I'm trying lots new.

Turns out I've lost 5.4 pounds in the last two weeks which gets me past the 10 pounds lost threshold. It's hard to think of that as substantial when I have so much to go, but I'm working on it. And I'm celebrating with a massage today. And a new button over there on the right. (Thanks Diana.)

Insight. Duh!

After struggling for a week to take my lunch to work every day I figured out that I should buy stuff at the supermarket to take. Sometimes my stupidity amazes me.

Treadmill Test

I've been struggling with knee pain, new orthotics, and what not. The pain has been much less for the past two weeks so I gave the treadmill at the nearby gym a very easy test. Ten minutes at a very easy pace. I got there and got back. And am pain free. If I'm still pain free tomorrow, I'll try again another day.

Not Good

Seriously, what's the matter with Australia that they think this is the ideal look. In case you don't know, this is Australia's entrant into the Miss Universe pageant. She is 6' tall and weight 105. Can we have a little sense here?

Hither and Yon

I made two significant trips this week, both close to home.

On Wednesday I went to a Weight Watchers meeting. I'm not a social sort, so the idea of all of us there together isn't appealing. On the other hand, the meeting, according to the Blessed Google, turns out to be 2.4 miles from my house. I don't have the too far or too inconvenient excuses. It was upbeat and cheerleady but not so much that I barfed. And I signed up ahead of time for a month on line, so I might as well show up for a while and see how that goes.

Wednesday was my birthday. So instead of cake I gave myself Weight Watchers. I was really proud of myself.

Today I went to the gym, did three whole minutes on a stationary bike which sounds ridiculous even to me. Then again my allergies are in full flower (ha ha) and after three minutes I had no breath. Instead of skulking off, discouraged (which I was) I did 1/2 hour of weight training. Yay me!

I think my main goal at this point is just to do anything regularly -- anything at all. The habit is so important and the distractions so great.

It's A Puzzle

I've been pretty much stuck on the same weight for a good long while. I've adjusted my exercise, how I eat, what I eat, my sleeping schedule, and a bunch of other things, but the baseline seems about the same. It's good that I seem to have a bit more energy and more resilience. But I really really want to weigh less.

Struggling with this, I decided to read Jennette's book knowing how much weight she lost. But the transition from toying with losing weight to actually doing it eludes me.

When I (finally)quit smoking I had to decide that I couldn't have any cigarettes ever. Not one. Not one puff. No cheating. Hot a hint. I even avoided the smell of smoke for months. Most people can have a puff or sneak an occasional cigarette, but I couldn't. Ok, I know that but how does that translate into food? I have to eat.

Maybe for some people that would translate into one of those liquid diets or the Jenny Craig sort of thing where you only eat what somebody prepares for you. And that might work for me for a while. I lost 30 pounds on Weight Watchers once, but then I stopped losing weight. Six months later I was bored, discouraged, and still not losing more weight. I guess size inertia is a theme here.

Well let me ponder my successes instead of my failures and see what I can figure out. Meanwhile, I'll go get a pedicure.

It's Been A While

Thanks to those of you who gave me a shout out.

The Excuses: I've been working too hard, allergies are kicking my butt, and (as always) I'm horribly discouraged about my seeming inability to develop habits. Or my unwillingness to work hard enough at it. There surely is something I haven't glommed onto yet, even if it is single-minded persistence.

The Good: After a physician -- a podiatrist of all things -- decided that my leg/knee pain could be a vitamin D deficiency he tested me and I was, in fact, low. That actually isn't amazing when I leave for work in the dark and mostly get home in the dark. I've been using a blue light (15 min/day) for a while so that clearly wasn't enough. So I started using a D supplement.

While I was at it I added a Glusosamine/Chondroitin/MSM supplement as well. Ok, I'm a lazy twit, but I'm also in pain a good deal of the time and that isn't helping anything. After a few weeks my pain seemed a little less -- I wasn't too sure -- but my range of joint motion was way improved. I first noticed this with regard to bra-hooking. That putting your arms behind your back to hook your bra thing is a dead giveaway. Not only is it easier, but it is a LOT easier.

I procured for myself a propane grill, the better to toss fish, cow, and shrimp on. It is a terrific addition for flavor and it also makes me less inclined to stop by and grab fast food on the way home from work.

The Pitiful: I've lost a grand total of 8.6 pounds. That shouldn't bother me so much. I'm eating much better. I'm moving more. Yada, yada, yada. But damn I hate being fat.

Until next time ...

What I Learned This Week

The snow last Monday in no way predicted the 70+ degree weather today.

The change to daylight savings time still knocks me out.

Squats hurt my ass. Even my first squat hurt my ass. Half a dozen of them, especially when one is 100+ lbs. overweight really hurt two days later.

Let It Snow!

It is a semi-snow day. That means there is 8" outside my door (and I live in the mid-atlantic, so we aren't hardy.) Schools are closed but workplaces graciously allowed us to use leave. Or telework. I picked leave because I didn't want to spend the day worrying about whether I was working hard enough.

Yes, I should fix that problem.

After three visits to the frigid windy out-of-doors to shovel out my car. And a path to my car. And the lumps of sodden detrius (snowius?) that the plow left in an attempt to shovel my car in. (In between the last two I got a better hat and ate a bowl of potato-cheddar soup.) I finally finished, laughingly asking myself if I could count that shoveling as exercise.

Gob-smacked I realized that it is exercise. That wet snow at the end of a lever counts as moving a weight. That doing it swiftly and getting out of breath counts as aerobic activity. Well golly gee, why am I minimizing my actual work by laughing at myself.

Sheesh. I hate that. But at least I figured it out. Everything counts. Running up six steps to get the mail counts. Carrying groceries counts. It's all work. Maybe if I stop calling it exercise, it won't seem so trivial.