Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Dead of Winter

Thanks to my propensity to look for easy solutions and slogging through Lyn's archives at Escape from Obesity I purchased a light therapy lamp a couple of months ago. Ok, you have just experienced my habit of putting a weeks worth of stuff into one sentence.

I was wading through those archives. I loved reading her stuff but, as always, when I slog through archives I got them in a concentrated form very different than the form in which they were written. So I see a lot of change and a lot of emotional stuff quickly. Somewhere in there she talked about SAD and getting a light to help fight it. I'm not sure whether I have SAD or not, but I resonated to the notion that I never see the sun.

Winter was drawing nigh -- nice hokey construction, eh? -- and I had just bought a car. This matters because I struggled with not having a sun roof. My new car doesn't have one available. And some part of me realized that most of the sun I got was because I had a sun roof. This time of year I leave home in the dark and arrive home in the dark. If I were to get sun I'd have to go outside regularly at midday which just isn't going to happen. And even if it did, I'd be wearing a lot of clothes so only my face would be available to the sun. So I figured it was worth a shot.

I use this thing for 15 minutes while I am performing ablutions and dressing in the morning. And after about a week I found that things just got easier. I don't know how to explain it better than that. It was less of a struggle to get up and do whatever I need to do. It isn't that I felt depressed before so much as that I feel undepressed now. Does that make any sense?

Anyway, I am hopeful that this might help to reduce my inertia, ease my reluctance to get up off of my padding and move. I've had a lot of years of not moving. At this point I'll take all the help I can get.

Weight today: 261

1 comment:

KK said...

Good luck with the lamp and your journey!