A Long Weekend

with sun and pool opening and a NEW BICYCLE. Yes, I'm out of practice. It has been a long time since I went everywhere on a bike. And I'm quite ungainly with a bad knee to boot. Be that as it may, I've been a few yards every day. Well maybe more than a few yards, but not many.

Oh, and I lost a few pounds. I've lost 7 since I started Weight Watchers four weeks ago, 12 since I decided to get serious about getting healthier and feeling better. It's interesting that I can feel 5 or 10 pounds lost. Why didn't I feel 5 or 10 pounds gained? Because I really didn't notice? More likely I was ignoring all of those signals, how my body felt. You can't get to be 100+ pounds overweight if you're noticing how lousy it feels all the time.

Interestingly enough, I've thought a lot about how I feel. It's difficult to do so becausse I feel so narcissistic. On the other hand I've paid enough attention to the needs of others over the years. I'm due a little narcissism. Back to the point. I think I felt the best in my life when I was 11. I was strong and free and smart and puberty hadn't messed all that up yet. I wandered about, walked and rode my bike and swam miles just because it felt good. I realized that I've totally lost that feeling. I want it back. Even when I'm not so comfortable with what I have to do to get there.

Hence the bike. That looks like this:

(That one isn't mine, although it is the same brand and color. That one belongs to and was uploaded to Flickr by Melly Bee. Mine has a removable basket. It will have panniers when I find some I love.

Hither and Yon

I made two significant trips this week, both close to home.

On Wednesday I went to a Weight Watchers meeting. I'm not a social sort, so the idea of all of us there together isn't appealing. On the other hand, the meeting, according to the Blessed Google, turns out to be 2.4 miles from my house. I don't have the too far or too inconvenient excuses. It was upbeat and cheerleady but not so much that I barfed. And I signed up ahead of time for a month on line, so I might as well show up for a while and see how that goes.

Wednesday was my birthday. So instead of cake I gave myself Weight Watchers. I was really proud of myself.

Today I went to the gym, did three whole minutes on a stationary bike which sounds ridiculous even to me. Then again my allergies are in full flower (ha ha) and after three minutes I had no breath. Instead of skulking off, discouraged (which I was) I did 1/2 hour of weight training. Yay me!

I think my main goal at this point is just to do anything regularly -- anything at all. The habit is so important and the distractions so great.

It's Been A While

Thanks to those of you who gave me a shout out.

The Excuses: I've been working too hard, allergies are kicking my butt, and (as always) I'm horribly discouraged about my seeming inability to develop habits. Or my unwillingness to work hard enough at it. There surely is something I haven't glommed onto yet, even if it is single-minded persistence.

The Good: After a physician -- a podiatrist of all things -- decided that my leg/knee pain could be a vitamin D deficiency he tested me and I was, in fact, low. That actually isn't amazing when I leave for work in the dark and mostly get home in the dark. I've been using a blue light (15 min/day) for a while so that clearly wasn't enough. So I started using a D supplement.

While I was at it I added a Glusosamine/Chondroitin/MSM supplement as well. Ok, I'm a lazy twit, but I'm also in pain a good deal of the time and that isn't helping anything. After a few weeks my pain seemed a little less -- I wasn't too sure -- but my range of joint motion was way improved. I first noticed this with regard to bra-hooking. That putting your arms behind your back to hook your bra thing is a dead giveaway. Not only is it easier, but it is a LOT easier.

I procured for myself a propane grill, the better to toss fish, cow, and shrimp on. It is a terrific addition for flavor and it also makes me less inclined to stop by and grab fast food on the way home from work.

The Pitiful: I've lost a grand total of 8.6 pounds. That shouldn't bother me so much. I'm eating much better. I'm moving more. Yada, yada, yada. But damn I hate being fat.

Until next time ...

Woo Hoo!

Ok, it's not much. But it is for me.

Here's what I did today:
Chest press
High cable row
Bicep curl
Tricep cable pulldown
Shoulder side raises
Leg lift (Knee problems prevent squats)
Leg curl machine

10 reps each

Let's see if I do it again Sunday.

Baby Steps

I ordered some yoga pants from the Land's End outlet for about ten bucks. I also got a locker at the gym to eliminate some of my perpetual excuses. Shampoo, a spare towel, and some basic gym clothes mean that I can drop by whenever without having to go home and collect what I need.

I also went to the gym and spent an hour with the manager. We interviewed each other so that she could recommend a personal trainer for me. She's going to get back to me. I'll get a free hour orientation with whoever she finds that seems to fit my needs and schedule.

This was really hard. Among other things I had to be assertive about what I need. And to figure out what I want.

What is my goal? To do one pull up (or chin up). That's all.

Sounds really simple, doesn't it? It'll either have to get strong as hell or lose some serious weight or both. I guess I'll figure that part out as I go along. But somewhere along the way having a simple single-minded goal seemed like a good idea. Not get in shape or lose weight or look better or feel better. Just something simple and measurable.

Next goal: Feel valuable enough to get my butt there and act like I am entitled to take up space.